The Square is the first and only lasting Private Members club in Bristol and is constituted to provide facilities that enable social intercourse among its members. The management cannot accept responsibility for any other relationships that may develop between members.
Members are encouraged to treat The Square as their second home (or third if they are lucky enough to have 2 already) therefore respect for the property goes without saying. This home from home policy should not extend to moving things like ashtrays from your second home to your first. Theft will not be tolerated; kleptomania is a disease, take something for it.
Members should not bring anyone to The Club that they wouldn’t take to their own home, otherwise you may be asked to take them home.
Members are requested to limit the number of guests to 3 at a time on any one visit. You may book the Square kitchen, the lower deck and the terrace facilities for larger bun fights
Members are asked to note that we do not have Guest memberships, free memberships, hangers – on memberships or a membership sharing scheme. A guest will only be admitted to the club if they are accompanied by a current member. If they try to visit without a member and or without membership they will automatically be reclassified as a sponger. Spongers will be discreetly invited to proclaim their obvious liking for The Club by taking up membership.
Members should note that fees are charged by quarterly standing order. If necessary, don’t pay your bookie, the mortgage, the Inland Revenue or the housekeeping but please always pay The Square subscription on time and you’ll always have somewhere to hide when others come looking for you.
Payment of bills
Members should note that the only unpaid bills acceptable to The Club are full time charity workers christened Jesus at birth. Members involved in acts of extreme bravery or performing exceptional deeds will receive credit for their actions, unfortunately this is only in the form of credit available at The Square. All bills must be paid prior to leaving the club.
Conduct towards other members
Members are expected to support each other at all times, especially when leaving the bar. At closing time we request that you help each other from your seats quickly and in as sensible a fashion as you are able to.
* All members are equal, treat them that way.
* Treat the staff as you do the members
* Don’t expect other members to pick up any names you drop
* No fighting, play fighting, talking about fighting or fighting talk
Members are reminded: with proper diet, rest and exercise a healthy body will last a lifetime. Please use the Club’s dining facilities as often as possible (don’t forget your 20 percent discount as you will not be reminded). Like the rules, reservations should not be broken.
Access to the club is via your membership swipe card. If your swipe card gets swiped, or lost, you must report this to the management immediately. We do not want impostors or impersonators pretending to be you.
Membership fees and Subscriptions Access to the club is exclusive to members. Like all desirable things in life, exclusivity comes at a price. The annual membership charges enable us to maintain The Club exclusively for you.